Just ask any other Indian girls here whether they have been subject of Eve teasing and the answer is always a quiet, reluctant 'Yes'.
Almost all girls here have been tormented sexually one way or other and most of them maintain silence, swallow the humiliation and harassment whole and pacify themselves that life is like that and there is nothing they can do to change things.
I am no exception; I've been Eve teased since I hit puberty. Back then, in my early teens, I was incredibly timid and I guess the fresh faced innocence was evident on my face, making me easy prey for dickheads who have no respect for women.
Wherever I went, to school, the public library, bus station, aboard the school and town bus even the neighbourhood I lived, Eve teasing was rife. It was extremely terrifying and I have doubted my safety many times.
Guys, ganging up with fellow dickheads, whistling, cat calling and passing lewd comments about the targeted girl or girls' physique is not the way to chat a girl up. You rather put her off by behaving like barbarians that have never seen girls before rather than turn her on. The only impression you guys emit is uncivilized and miles away from classy. Sutthe porikki thanam! (purely unruly)
Sometimes, the girls are to blame as well. I won't pass the buck entirely to guys because there are decent and cultured guys out there just as rowdy like girls exist amongst us.
I have seen some girls asking for it; instead of keeping distance from bunches of salacious machas, they strive to be in the boys' stereoscopic, predatory vision and most of them are secondary school goers still clad in uniforms. I won't pity those girls if they get raped plainly because they invited it themselves.
These kind of scenes are prevalent in Ipoh bus station and I have seen more than enough and it never fails to make me want to go and slap all the boys and girls for behaving like lecherous apes! Surely they can behave better.
I don't understand the need for boys to behave like baboons of bluster (we have enough baboons in our government) in public places, harassing passing by girls and sometimes follow them. I have been followed many times and it scared the daylights out of me.
Yes, you guys have eyes and girls are definitely 'cuci mata' (eye wash) material. There is no wrong in looking at dainty and dazzling girls; beauty is to be admired after all. Making eye contact and smiling is also cool but sometimes girls don't smile back and it is Buta.com (nose cut) for guys. Vaalkai le ithu ellam saghajam appa. (It is all in the game called life.)
One piece of advice for guys, if you like a girl, DO NOT whistle at her. She ain't a doggie to rush to you once you whistle. And, when your overzealous buddy says, "Dei macha, ava unne paakura da.." (Hey, she is looking at you..) do not buy his statement; it is an overstatement. She might be looking at your direction, not at you. Instead of talking to your friends about her within her earshot, go and talk to her. If you don't have the balls to talk to her, grow some balls, otherwise just shut the hell up.
And, for temples. Going to temple has become a recreational activity for our youngish 'bhaktimaans' (devotees) Temples have become a ground for our boys and girls check each other out instead of checking God out and keeping tabs on their karma. Girls would round the temples in dizzying circles and boys would be hot on their heels. Besides fulfilling one's religious obligation, hormone surge get fulfilled as well. Oru kallu le rendu maangga. (Killing two birds with one stone)
Another turn off is public display of affection. It is perhaps okay to link hands with your boyfriend or girlfriend and walk up and down shopping malls' aisles or on pedestrian walk ways. I don't bother em couples. None of my bloody business.
But it becomes a business that affects me and others when public display of affection is staged in inappropriate places by our boys and girls.
My brother had an accident recently and I went to visit him in Ipoh General Hospital @ Hospital Tengku Permaisuri Bainun and when my mother and I were purchasing lunch in the hospital's cafeteria, a young Indian couple's antics caught my eye.
The girl couldn't be older than 16, the boy, 19 and there they were, holding hands and waists and shoulders while gazing at each other amorously, the guy, pinching the girl's cheeks, nose and chin, oblivious to the people and hustle bustle around them. I did not know where to put my face when a Malay makcik (aunty) pointed at the seemingly besotted twosome and lamented, "Apa kena diorang tu? Kat hospital pun ada hati nak berkepit.." (What is wrong with them? Romancing each other even at hospital..) I was ashamed of being an Indian at that moment and it was because of such rogue, brazen behaviour of other Indians which might have reached an incorrigible state that blackens the stature of other Indians here.
Another pet peeve of mine is the behaviorism of some of our Indian schoolgoers, particularly secondary school students. While we have high achievers like Nithyalakshmi, Suhanraj Rajasegaran we have mere kids who don't take education seriously and take having a boyfriend or girlfriend as top priority, getting their prioritization fucked up.
The order of the day is girls and boys having boyfriends and girlfriends. Say that you don't have a partner in monkey love (that is the deserving name for fleeting love which would, at best, expire within a month) and you'll get horrified countenances from your friends and you will be branded as an outcast. Succumbing to peer pressure and not wanting to stick out as a sore thumb, boys and girls couple up and get their life screwed up in most cases.
Let me elaborate how generally hooking up is done in secondary schoolgoers based on my personal experience:
- First of all a boy would tell his friends of his love interest in a girl.
- Next, the boys' friends would tell the girl's friends that one of their friend is line putra-ning. (fixing a hooking up line) to the 'fixed' girl. See how excellent our boys and girls are at literature, coining words and phrases and being messengers, beating Cupid and Hermes. Yellam nalla seivangge, padikurethu thavare. (They do everything well, except studying.)
- Then, the girl's friends would persuade her to accept the boy's proposal and she would finally pander and the rest is history.
Driven by surging hormones, some will get sexually active without being in the know of the contained risks and repercussions.
When I was in Form 2, my friend, (she is of my age) told me that she had sex with her boyfriend and began to tell me the details and I told her to shut the fuck up and that it is not my fucking business. I also gave her a piece of my mind that it is not cool to have pre-marital sex and then brag about it; it only devalues one. She belted up and saw me as an enemy from then onwards. So much for trying to steer her away from being sexually permissive at the age of fourteen. In retrospect, I should not have spoken to her in such a tone but I was FREAKIN PISSED, so there.
Youngsters, especially girls, should know how to tell the difference between love and lust. Don't allow yourself to get laid down at anytime in your relationship with a guy. The utmost hallmark of a good guy by Indian standards is the one who can control his dick all the time, provided that he is not impotent.
And then, there is romantic flourish which school boys or tertiary institute students easily get into to win the heart of the girl he has his eyes on or an already 'corrected' girl, that is, lavishing gifts on her birthday (if the relationship manages to last that long), Valentine's Day and every other day. All in the name of LOVE...
I say, screw your love! From the jatti, (undergarment) you wear and the food you eat, you completely depend on your parents and guardians and what do you do? You spend the hard earned money on your puppy love that won't see the dawn of next year. Those who take up student loan graduate as debtors so you have more pressing things to worry about than the anniversary of when you got hitched with your bitch and getting her a present.
Your parents send you to school and college to study, not to pair up and get screwed. You may call your parents old and boring but they got like that because they have toiled to bring you up. Have some gratitude to your parents. You owe them your life so don't do anything that would deface your parents.
Life is not a Tamil movie. Our boys and girls especially teenagers buy Tamil movies propaganda on love wholesale and it is at this point sanity and sound judgement hit rock bottom. Can you and your so called lover sing duets, changing dozens of locations and costumes in 5 minutes? That is how unrealistic it gets in Tamil movies so stop letting the plots of romantic Tamil movies from getting into your heads. I'm not saying that boycotting Tamil movies is the way to go; there are excellent Tamil movies. All I'm saying is for youngsters to apply some common sense and rule out cinematic liberties as crap when watching such movies. This clip from a dumb Tamil movie clip serves as an example. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BpYkKMGEF1w&feature=relmfu
Last but not least, here is an advice from a fellow youngster. Excel in your studies, get a good job, set a good, stable financial status, equip yourself with stuff necessary for a comfortable life, be a filial child to your parents then search for the Romeo or Juliet of your life and settle down. Vaazhkai nalla irukkum.. (Life will be good) Please don't take any offence guys! I mean well... :-)