Guy swears, "He's cool." Girl swears, "She's bitchy!"

Recently, an Indian guy practically made my Facebook squalid by purging all kinds of expletives when I wrote a personal rant regarding the husband of a relative of mine, leaving her and her 3 young kids out on a limb when she fell ill and unable to fulfill her husband's carnal desires. It was a love marriage.

The below is my post

My post got besieged by Indian guys and one particular butthurt Indian guy leveled pure profanity on my post, I removed him from my Facebook friend list because he abused my Indian girlfriend as well and also to be my friend, you gotta have some standards and manners. He sent me friend request. The below is his sorpolivu and note that he got 3 likes for his 'intellectual' and 'mind ticking' comments, most likely 'conferred' by his like minded friends.

I left a message on why I removed him and he spat torrents of profane pejoratives at me yet again. I am sparing you the messages because you would have get an idea that if he could speak like that in public, you will get an idea how he'd speak in private. Another of his like minded friend messaged me as well on the same level and I was like, "Poda jaldra.."

The macha practically demeaned my mother and my response to him was, "Do I look like I care... How long would it take for me to use profanity to denigrate your mother? I won't stoop to your level because my mama taught me better than that. I respect all mothers, including yours.. Bye."

And then, complete turnaround on behalf of the guy! He began apologizing profusely, saying 'Bless you', 'anger made me blind' and the icing of the cake was him falling at my feet! And, he began calling me dear and sayang and recounted a sentimental story that he has no sisters as his siblings were all boys and that's why he sent me a friend request and then began pestering me to add him back.

My girlfriends advised me against adding him back and I took their advice. And then, I got messages from guys expressing anger on how could a guy call me such names in a public forum and that it hurt them that I was given such a treatment.

I was struck on the fact that those guys won't apologize and express their anger on fellow sewage mouthed Indian guys in public, only doing them in private but would swear/vilify Indian girls in public. I have also had Indian guys who debate fiercely with me on Facebook, biting my head off that I have ego when they fail to counter my points, apologizing to me in private message like meek puppies.

This made me come to the conclusion that Indian guys won't let their ego bust in public, preferring to smear and assassinate the character of Indian girls publicly, especially those who are outspoken like me and then apologize in private. It is sorta like the saying, "Keele vilunthum meesaileh mannu ottame irukanum," which means, although a guy falls on the ground, he should keep the soil from soiling his moustache, the moustache symbolizing his masculinity.

I had a strong principle on not to use swear words and profane signs since high school - I went to an all girls high school and many of my friends used the 'f' word and middle finger. I never did. But, lately, as I get to know people and if they piss me off I am using swear words but not publicly.

As far as I am concerned, using swear words does not make a guy cool or a girl bitchy. It only means one thing, indecency but like everything that is accepted if Indian guys do but not when Indian girls do, swearing exonerates Indian guys but criminalizes Indian girls. It is the general Indian policing to go, "Fuck, asshole lam use pannethe, ithu yellam oru ponna," if a girl swears but a defeaning silence would prevail when an Indian guy is being profane. It is a non issue.

Anger is gender blind so everyone needs to control it. It is unfair to say Indian girls should not get angry because getting angry and using harsh words are not the hallmarks of a good Indian girls. Indian guys should not enjoy impunity when it comes to being profane. If I really need to express my anger by swearing via writing in public I use f***** or intentionally misspell the f word as fcuk so that I don't come under fire by Indian moral polices.

Yet, the famous blogger, SK Durai who blogs at uses the word 'f******' liberally and when I told a guy friend about that he was like "Sanitized articles won't drive the point home so  a degree of profanity is needed."  Durai's guest blog's name is known as and maire means pubic hair. My uncle always uses the word maire. One of my guy friend on Facebook updated a status that read, "Someone please slap the Marma Mairandi if you find him. Always squealing like a pig each time I turn THR Raaga on to catch a decent Tamil tune." If I wrote like that, Indian machas would besiege my post and berate me as though their world had fallen apart because an Indian girl swore.

Anyway, gender bias in Indian societies might never change. I am not asking for all Meenachis to start swearing so that gender equality can be achieved. Swearing is distasteful when indulged in by anyone, irrespective of gender. Being nice and decent doesn't cost a thing and they do wonders for your image. The meme below does not only apply to girls, it applies to guys too.

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