Disclaimer: This is just a rant and be assured that this doesn't clump Indian men in one cage and Indian women in one cage.
Indian Guys might hate me for this but I don't give a shit. Been through too much and seen to much that I have to rant on the hypocrisy that runs in Indian blood.
First is the zoom on virginity of girls and making a harangue about it. Basically the general Indian mindset is that if a girl is no longer a virgin, she's not a good girl.
But, in my experience, when an Indian girl is being catcalled or whistled at, if she doesn't respond positively, she'll be insulted along the lines of she being a harlot. I write quite a lot on women's rights as opposed to patriarchy, including the dehumanization of Hindu Indian women once her husband dies.
The below is a video that shows a Brahmin family tonsuring a young widow's head in the movie Seval, one Barath's best but underrated movie:
An Indian woman's hair is considered to be her honour and dignity. My senile grandmother (she's a widow as well), who is rendered unable to care for her hair, had her long hair cut by my aunt who's taking care of her. Old granny would lament, "See what they did to my hair. They only snip a woman's hair if she does something wrong. What wrong did I do?"
Of course widows are not treated like that here but some semblance of dehumanization remains. Read here.
Okay, back to the topic. Nowadays, Indian girls are often categorized almost categorically as whores and sluts, nothing more, nothing less, the subject of censure being their virginity. In actuality, women these days just don't win in the perception of males here, especially the whore and slut part - women just can't win.
Many times, when I don't respond to guys trying to chat me up, they turn hostile and start calling me names, even in the library. One guy showed me the middle finger and called me thevudiya mava when I did not lift my face from the book I was reading in Tun Razak library as the guy made verbal passes at me. Another lorry driver approached me and coaxed me to sleep with him and when I kept quiet due to sheer terror, he called me a bitch and vowed to rape me one day. Another common hostility is if a girl ignores eve teasing is telling her whether she had seen her face in the mirror or tell her to not be so proud, she ain't Miss World. I had got these ones innumerable times and I'm not sore. Just pointing out that hypocrisy is the order of the day when it comes subject Indian girls into an opinion - most of them are whores and sluts In case you want to say that my dressing might have provoked them, Tun Razak library's dress code is stringent, no shorts and sleeveless tops. I was in my track pants and school sports t-shirt when the lorry driver approached me and I am not typically one who dresses scantily in public.
One thing is glaring - if Indian women don't act accordingly to Indian guys' wants, then insulting/assassinating her character become the counter reaction to the females unresponsivess. If Indian women bend to the tune Indian males play, then she's a harlot and a character-less girl. See, cannot win. Cul De Sac.
It's male entitlement, women should fulfill whatever males want, If she doesn't they'll come to the conclusion that she's a bitch who's acting up and they would degrade her at every opportunity. If she does, she's easy and cheap and they would degrade her at every opportunity too. See, lose-lose situation.
Yesterday, a guy was like all Indian women are sluts and whores and when I pinpointed that the girls don't lose their virginity on their own, there's a complementing counterpart called guys, he was like, "Why are you defending these sluts la? Because you are a woman ah?" Yes, because in his view, I'm a slut too.. And all guys are saints and society is oh so perfect and nonjudgmental. And, women are the root of evil. Sial betul.
And then, the accusation that Indian girls won't come clean to their current boyfriend/husband/society if they are no longer virgins. I have a question. How can statistical virginity ratio of Indian girls can be drafted without Indian girls coming clean of their past sexual misadventures? There is virginity check performed on every girl and the data is gleaned, analyzed then made into statistics? Every girl who lost her virginity aborted her child in clinics and that's how the data is collected?
Many Indian girls do come clean of their so called dirty past but how many men and society are ready to accept the girl as a girl of moral and keep her on the level of Panchali who had 5 husbands? You will accept and pity Kunti and Draupadi just because their stories are etched in religious scriptures but won't accept real Indian girls who slept with their boyfriends whom they thought they will marry only to see their boyfriends washing their hands off once matter is over and then search for a fresh female body to screw. I am not endorsing premarital sex - I am saying that anyone can breach trust and take advantage. I am saying that girls are humans who are prone to mistakes just like guys. If a girl who had premarital sex is a bad girl then a guy who had premarital sex is a bad guy too. It's unfair to heap blame on girls alone. If girls start asking for virginity of guys to marry like guys do, then many guys won't get married. Can lead a lecherous lifestyle prior to marriage but wants only virgin bride and calls the girls he screwed sluts and whores.
My cousin sis' husband took her to do virginity test on the second day of marriage. It seems the doctors vilified the guy. He later impregnated my cousin and told her to abort it because he doesn't think that the baby is his. He's a saint and my cousin is Bloody Mary. Of Course.
For guys, the number of women they slept with is a matter to brag and society reserves very low contempt towards guys who have premarital sex because hey, boys will be boys. So, guys mostly escape both culpability and responsibility when it comes to premarital sex so they don't hesitate much to be open about their flings. Note that in the movie Arundhati, Pasupathi's mother not only ignores her son's debauched ways but defends him too. Replace Pasupathi's mother with society. Let society give such leeway to girls who have premarital sex and they will come clean with more boldness. I know, deep inside that it's unlikely to happen. But, asking girls to say that they slept with their boyfriend when it is the reality that they will be negatively judged after they own up, how will they open up? That's my bone of contention here, cannot win. Conceal also slut, open up also slut.
This is why I said that women never win, they are viewed in jaundiced view up, down, left,inside and out. Perhaps it is the male insecurity, now that many Indian women are overtaking Indian males in education and career that the virginity of women is made such a huge issue, that most of their value lies in the flimsy, weak membrane between their legs, not in their solid and powerful capabilities..
Also, Indians are torn between orthodox establishments and sweeping modernization. Many boyfriends of Indian girls film themselves making out with them, unknown to the girls and then release the film in YouTube for various reasons, including revenge porn, blackmail and to spoil the lives of the girls - due to society's perception. Most girls who have been exposed this way had no choice but to end their lives at their own hands. Again, due to societal bearings, definition of Indian culture and impositions, dos and don'ts, conforms and honour, Indian girls are pushed to the limit.
Indian women - We just can't win.
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